In With Good, Out With Bad

Governor C.L. “Butch” Otter issued the following statement today regarding the recent vandalism of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints buildings in Chubbuck.

“Defiling or defacing houses of worship – of any faith or denomination – is an attack not just on religious beliefs or even our law, but also on our culture and our values. It disturbs the sanctuaries of our spiritual well-being. These are not merely the acts of misguided individuals. They speak to a more fundamental disregard for sacred places, social order and the freedoms that generations of Americans have sacrificed to protect.” 

Over the past couple of weeks we have witnessed one of the most incredible acts of kindness and yet one the most disrespectful acts. I have seen vandalism before but this time around, I was angry. I could not let go of the anger I had for the cowards that defaced and vandalized my church, my stake center and another stake center in the area.

I am angry for a few reasons. 1. I am angry because vandalizing property especially a place of worship is just wrong. It is wrong in the fact that this coward is either a member of the church and is angry for something he brought on himself or he is just someone who has been offended by someone who happens to be a member of the church. He is not just taking it out on one person, he has to take it out on the whole church. If he is a member of the church and he is angry with us for something WE did. When people are angry with the church, most of the time it is because they did something that resulted in discipline which could be something as lightly as repenting yourself or it could go as far as being excommunicated from the church. YOU make your own decisions and YOU decide the path that you will take. It is not the churches fault if you make wrong decisions that put you in a bad place. If this coward is not a member of the church and they are doing this people they have been offended, shame on you. You are letting one person determine your entire perspective on the Mormon church. 2. I am also angry because this puts on the wrong message to those who are not members. It makes them ask the questions "What did they really do to make this happen" or "Why would someone go this far"?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has over 15,000,000 members of the church in the entire world. If you think about it, that's not THAT many compared to the 7 billion in the world. BUT, our religion is out there. We have over 80,000 missionaries, 141 temples, 4 universities/colleges and people know about us. They know that we judge and that is what we do. Anytime someone associates with a Mormon and are offended by something they say, all Mormons are bad because all we do is judge. What people don't understand is that everyone in the world whether they are Mormon, Luthern, Catholic, Atheist, etc. we all judge. Do we judge on purpose because we know you are not Mormon and that is what we want to do? No, I can guarantee anyone reading this cannot sit there and say they have never judged in their life. In fact, I judged the coward who defaced our church. I made assumptions as to why someone would be so angry to vandalize property. I judge because I am not perfect. No mormon is perfect. Our Prophet, Thomas S Monson, is not perfect. He may be close to the Lord but he too makes mistakes. We all make mistakes. It is unfortunate that people feel this way.

I grew up with the most amazing group of friends I could ever ask for. They were all such good examples to me and we had fun. We had fun when we were just being stupid. We had fun hanging out and doing nothing. Does the fact that we were mormon have an advantage? Maybe. But the thing about it is, not all of my friends are mormon. I would not have had it any other way either. These friends are GREAT people. They new how to have fun and they didn't let our religion play a role in our friendship. The thing that breaks my heart, we never forced or encouraged mormonism on these friends and once high school was over, I heard that they hated Mormons because they have been judged. How were you judged? Were you judged because you weren't a mormon or did someone judge you in another way? The common misconception is that we judge people because they aren't Mormon. I will be honest, there are Mormons who think they are perfect and do judge other because they are not perfect. Well Mormon or not, I too hate those who think they are perfect. I also think that Facebook and Instragram gets misinterpreted. People can post everything about their life and make it seem like they are just perfect and happy but deep down, it is not even close to that. They may have just posted a picture of their husband but the day before that, they were yelling at each other. Everything is just a misconception. We are read the wrong way and because of that, the Mormon religion and people are bad people.

It's just like the Provo "Mormon" doctor that was found guilty last week of murdering his wife a few years ago. The fact that he is a Mormon, the media of the case just escalated because we are supposed to be perfect. Well, I hate to tell you that there are bad people out there. It has nothing to do with their title or religion. It has everything to do with who they are as a person. You don't see newscasters putting Catholic at the beginning of a trial for someone killing their wife or because they are running for President. People judge us as Mormons because we are held to a higher standard.

One of our main focuses are about families. We are all about family and togetherness. Who doesn't want their family to be their main focus. Even if you have no interest in joining the church, do a little research of what we are about before you judge us. If you have been judged by someone who is a member of the church, don't assume the religion teaches us to be that way or that all mormons are that way because we aren't. Do we judge? Yes. Do we purposely judge nonmembers? No. If I have ever judge anyone in one way or another, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. It is never my intention to hurt someone or attack someone because of what they believe.

I will say this though, after having Reggie, I am grateful for eternal families. I love Jordan more than anything but now that I have Reggie, my whole perspective on life has changed. I want more than anything for Reggie to live a great life and for him to be happy. More than anything, I want to be with my family for eternity. I am grateful for the church and do have a testimony of it. I believe that Jesus Christ atoned for my sins. I also believe that our Heavenly Father loves every one of us no matter who we are and what we believe. As long as we can believe in Him and know that he wants nothing but happiness for us, nothing else matters. He wants us to return to him.

I love my friends and family and everyone I have had the chance to come in contact with...

That being said, I live in a great neighborhood. I wish so much I could have been apart of the light extravaganza last weekend but it has been awesome to see this go viral.

The Long family has four children. Their oldest is on a mission and their second oldest in in college. Their two younger boys are 15 and 10 I believe. They both have the disease called muscular dystrophy. This is a disease in which muscles damage easily and weaken which eventually confines one to a wheelchair. Those with this disease also have trouble breathing and swallowing as well. Konner, the 15-year-old, asked his dad if they could have Christmas lights this year. They had the lights do to it but before they could, the neighborhood banded together to deck their house out in Christmas lights. Watch the video below.

We had our primary program last week. Those children just have sweet little spirits and to listen to the shout the primary songs, just brought a warm feeling to my heart. The younger Long boy, Jaxson, was in my direct line of sight. I had an emotional Sunday. As I sat and watched him, he just had a smile on his face the entire program. I did not cry because I felt bad for him, I cried because no matter what life has thrown at him, he still has a smile on his face. I look up to the strength that those boys have or anyone for that matter that struggles with a disability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAnH-l7HaEk

Oh the Promptings

Over the length of this week I have never felt the Spirit so strong in my entire life. I have had some promptings that I have tried to shake because I was scared and didn't know how to go about them. I did not want to upset anyone or make them feel angry with me. Finally last night it got to the point that I was forbidden sleep until I acted on the prompting. I am in no place to share the experience but I want to express my gratitude for this Gospel. I know that the things I shared last night were not my actual words. The Lord was working through me to help someone else in need. Whether it will make a difference in their life or not, it was a definite testimony builder to myself. I said things that I know I couldn't have made up by myself. All I wanted to do today was read conference talks, the ensign and watch Mormon Messages.

Earlier this week, a talk from general conference came to mind. This is horrible to admit but I remember very little from April's conference except for one talk in particular. It was the talk by Elder L Whitney Clayton titled "Marriage: Watch and Learn". I read this talk out loud to Jordan and was reminded of the blessing that I have to be married to him. I also sat back and realized that we both have things to work on. I definitely have more to work on because of my many flaws but nobody is perfect. No matter how many times we can read that talk and think that we have these principles down, we never will. A marriage is never perfect and a marriage is never easy. 

The five principles Elder Clayton speaks of are:

1. A priceless marriage

2. Faith

3. Repentence

4. Respect

5. Love

1. A priceless marriage: So many times we take things for granted. Having a priceless marriage to me means that no one else matters but me and my spouse. Yes, people can hurt us, hate us, talk bad about it, belittle us, not forgive us, underestimate us etc, but at the end of the day, Jordan (besides Reggie of course) is the only thing (besides what could be more important. If there is something, then you need to ask yourself why and what you need to do to put your spouse first. It reminds me of the MasterCard commercials...

Nice truck: $17,000

New phone: $299

Relaxing vacation: $1,000

Being married to your eternal companion: Priceless

2. Faith: I know that a marriage would not survive without faith. When things are hard, I know that I need to have faith to endure through the challenges and differences that Jordan and I have. We have to have faith in the Lord knowing that there is a plan for us and if we have faith and do what we should be doing, we will continue on the path to live and love each other for eternity. 

3. Repentance: Even for the little things such as eye rolling, snapping, and simply getting angry when the plate was put in the sink and not the dishwasher, we need to repent. Repentance to me always comes across so negative. I feel that if I have to repent it is something so horrible but it's not. When we repent it gives us the opportunity to ask for strength. It gives us the ability to ask for patience. If we continually ask for help, we should be able to reduce to amount of times we need to repent. 

4. Respect: When we respect each other, that means we are treating each other as equal partners. The most horrible thing we can do in a marriage is belittle one another. I will admit and my family can atest to this that I used to be disrespectful towards Jordan. I would talk him down in front of my family and it was 100% wrong. If anything, I should be talking highly and uplifting Jordan; not making him feel like he is worthless. If we continue to encourage, uplift, and praise one another not only in front of others but while we are alone, I know that we can continue to build on the love that we already have for one another.

5. Love: This word is self explanatory. We as spouses need to love each other with all our hearts. All women want in a marriage/relationship is for the man to love them and fight for them. Love each other as if no one else exists. Love each other as if there was no tomorrow because in this crazy world, there really could be no tomorrow. Too many times we get caught up in the real world and the negative things surrounding us that we tend to lose our focus on each other. The love never fades but the affection and attention can which makes a spouse insecure and question the love. Never get to a point that your spouse has to question love. Never go to bed without telling your spouse you love them. If you are having a disagreement, always no matter what, tell each other "I love you". When you wake up in the morning, you will wonder why you were so angry in the first place. Love is the most treasured.

What do these principles mean to you? Journal it, talk about it, pray about it.

Families can be together forever...

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/marriage-watch-and-learn?lang=eng

Bittersweet Moments

Well, I made it through my first two days back to work. I think I cried enough Monday and Tuesday that I did not cry much on Wednesday. I dropped Reggie off at Jacque's house and left as quick as I could. She asked how I was doing and I knew that if I stuck around I would break down.

I have the best co workers. They are what made coming back so much easier. When I got to work my desk had been sticky noted. There was a note on my screen that said, "Welcome back Kayla! We have missed..." And then every sticky note had something they missed about me. Some were priceless and definitely made me laugh. They also got me goodies to replenish my snack drawer since I am always snacking. As much as I want to just eat it all, I resist the temptation for now anyway (diets suck but it is so worth it). As much as I missed being with Reggie all day, I was glad to be back. No that doesn't mean I'm okay to stay full time or stay working forever but it definitely helps when I work for an amazing company and have the most amazing team.

I am so blessed at the fact that Reggie is in good hands. I love that I can just go home on my lunch break to snuggle him. Today when I went home, he was just cooing away, telling me about his day. Seriously, the best thing to come home to. I'm so grateful for all that I have and the blessing I have to go to work everyday. Yes, it's hard. I now have to worry about work, coming home to cook, clean, spend time with Reggie, run and do school. But right now, work is what I need to do and I know it will be worth it in the end when I can eventually spend all day with Reggie. The Lord has a hand in all things and for that I am grateful.

I love my family. Every single one of them.

I love my lunch breaks!!

Reggie Jordan Keller

Well, now that my whole pregnancy plus 11 weeks of Reggie's life has gone by, I guess I will blog. I am horrible at this just as I am horrible about writing in my journal which is more important. I always say I am going to get better too but I never do. So, I will just be me and blog when I blog.

Where to even start... Pregnancy sucked. The only awesome part about it was feeling Reggie move around inside of me and labor. Everything else about it was miserable. People have their own horror stories about labor but I was seriously so lucky. I'm never lucky either so I'm sure my next deliveries will be hell. But here is how it went down...

On Monday, May 13th, my due date, I was at work and just not feeling up to par. First of all, it was my due date for hell sakes and I was still at work and not having a baby! I was so sick of people making annoying comments about still being at work and looking like I should have been due weeks ago. Anyway, I wasn't feeling Reggie move much which was not normal. He was always so active during the day so it made me really nervous. Being this far along all I could think about was the umbilical cord and seriously no room in there for him. Around lunch time I told my boss I was going to go to the doctor just to check things out. My next weekly checkup was not until the next day. So I went to the doctor and they checked the heartbeat and ended up doing my checkup right then and there. Everything was normal and of course, nothing had changed for the last three weeks either. The doctor asked if I wanted to schedule an induction date but I was so indecisive he just told me to schedule one more weekly checkup and if I hadn't gone into labor he would have to induce me. I just kept hearing both sides about being induced I was so unsure about it and it totally stressed me out. I did a nonstress test while I was at the doctor as well and like I said, everything was normal. It took forever while I was there and I was so emotional so my boss told me I could just take off for the day and not go back to work. I was so grateful because I was such an emotional wreck. My boss was seriously so awesome through the whole thing. I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am for him and how much he actually cared for me, my well being and my feelings.

That night, Jordan and I talked about being induced and we had decided that we would call the doctor in the morning to get a day set. I started having pains Monday night but I didn't know if they were contractions or not. They weren't like people had described contractions so I had no idea. We tried timing them but they weren't consistent. I know now, they definitely weren't contractions. Anyway, just to be safe, Jordan took me up to labor and delivery and they hook me up to the machines again. I wasn't really having contractions and wasn't dilated much further so they sent me home. I did not want to start my maternity leave too early because I wanted as much time with Reggie as I could. But, Jordan and my mom both thought it would be best to just start my leave and not go back to work. I text my boss and told him what I had decided and he was fully supportive and agreed that it would be best not to come back. Thank goodness I made that decision.

I woke up Tuesday morning and took a long bath thinking that these days are going to drag being at home. Jordan decided the go ahead and take the day off as well because we need to get our yard ready. We were having sprinklers installed Tuesday night that Jordan was going to help with. Around 10:00, my contractions began. They were pretty far apart so I didn't get to excited. Around noon, Jordan and I went to get some lunch and run errands. By that time, they were about 10 minutes apart and quickly getting closer. Jordan went back to working outside and was getting so dirty with all the dirt flying around him. By about 1:30, I went outside and told him to get showered because we need to go. When 2:00 rolled around my contractions were so painful that I couldn't hold my tears back. Jordan's brother Derick came over and assisted Jordan in giving me a blessing and then we were off to the hospital. When we finally got there, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. The nurse got me into a room, checked me, and said, "You definitely are not going anywhere because this is the real deal." Even though I was in so much pain, I was seriously so happy knowing that I would be holding a precious babe in a matter of hours.

The nurse was able to give me a pain reliever through my IV to get me through the contractions until I got my epidural. It didn't necessarily take away all of the pain but it made me tired and not really care much about them. At 4:00, Dr. Cox came and broke my water and told me he was going to go have dinner with his family and spend time with them and that he would be back. In my mind I was wondering why in the hell he was leaving me! I was in labor duh! But, now I totally understand and didn't blame him for leaving. Around 5:00 or so, the anesthesiologist gave me my epidural and it was heavenly. I have heard how horrible the epidural is but I was seriously almost sleeping through the whole thing. Once I got the epidural, I slept for the most part while Jordan and my mom watched my contractions go off the paper. The nurse would check me every so often to see how I have progressed and things were going pretty great. Finally around 9:15, the nurses had me push here and there to make the actual delivery go super smooth. At about 9:40ish, Dr. Cox and the staff were there and it was time.

Reggie arrived in my arms at 10:04 p.m. and it was the most amazing moments of my life. As I sit here and reminisce about it, I can't help but cry. He was perfect! As he was screaming in my arms, I did not know what to do so I just held him and watched as he screamed At that moment, the world stopped and all the mattered to me was Reggie. He weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. Perfect as can be!

We were blessed to have things go so smoothly that we were able to go home 24 hours later. How great it was to be in my own home with my family. There is nothing better. Reggie has been such an amazing baby so far. He has been gaining weight great, sleeping through the night, smiling, cooing and just being happy. Never in my entire life have I thought something could bring so much joy. Being a mom is tough but I would never talk negatively about it as I have heard from other people. It is the most rewarding experience.

I tell Jordan all the time how I can't believe we got so nervous about this and talked ourselves out of having a baby. I would always ask myself if I was really ready to give up my body, being able to just go out, and really being care free. We really didn't know what we were missing because it has been totally worth it. I feel bad for those who care too much about their vacationing and other material things because they have no idea what they are missing. I also cannot believe that some people don't believe in God. Being pregnant and having Reggie in my life has been such a testimony builder to me. I know that Heavenly Father has a hand in all things. I know that Reggie was waiting patiently for his time to come and that the Lord was counseling him up until the moment he came. I know that he is constantly watching over us. I can't believe how grateful I am.

I go back to work in a week and it is tough on me already. I have amazing people watching Reggie that I know he will be in good hands. I already can't wait for the day that I will be able to be with him all day again to watch him grow and teach him everything I know... and more of course. What an amazing summer this has been and I have many more to come.

I will just say how grateful I am to have family close. I was so grateful Derick was next door that he could run over and help give me a blessing. I am grateful my parents are so close as well that they can come over often. I always love having them here even though I know it is only to be with Reggie. :) However, I wish that Sammi and her family lived back in Idaho again. I hate having them so far away and wish everyday they were here. I am also grateful to have such an amazing boss. Like I said, he was so supportive from the get go and has been such a great friend as well.

Life is amazing! I couldn't be happier to have Reggie around. He brings so much joy and love into our home. Jordan is such an amazing dad and I love to just sit and watch him with Reggie. My heart is full!